annoying DSL service

I am about to say goodbye to my yearlong routine of checking mails every time I woke up in bed and see what’s new in my Friendster profile. It even gets worst when Facebook.com was introduced to me by my friend’s couple of months ago, the games that this social site are hosting really rocks me (Vampire Wars, Mafia Wars, Farmville, and the ever irritated Youville) are somehow add flavors  and colors to the boring life (at least to me) that you can find  to all these social site in the World Wide Web. I know it brought hell to my daily routines (the good ones) if I may say because I only get online to read and learn something, chat and download programs; you know the basic things we do on the internet.

But things get different when my DSL connection from Saudi Telecom (STC) starts to make problems with all its subscriber. I am sure that I wasn’t the only one calling the 907 Customer Care Service to report that I am experiencing trouble in browsing,and that my bandwidth is keep on changing its value .  With their ever friendly –shouting agent that answers your concern indirectly, and hang up the line at sometimes makes you feel really upset. They can’t even talk to you nicely because of their bad English, I’m sorry but I think it would have been best if they can assign agent who can be able to talk to you properly. i mean, how on earth the two parties can resolve the issue if you two can’t understand the situation right?  I also knew that I wasn’t the only one who speaks and understand English here in the Kingdom I mean there are so many of us (different nationalities), so I think that’s one point that this giant company should consider. Another thing is that, STC’s DSL line gets disconnected frequently so it really irritates you when you’re doing something online and suddenly you’ll find out that you are already disconnected, or maybe chatting to a friend using Yahoo messenger or any kind and you’ll just noticed that your friends image on the web camera is no longer moving? hello?… are you there? ding!

These annoying service always happen to all their subscribers and the worst part is they don’t do something to make up, instead they all let their subscriber get upset. i feel like they couldn’t accommodate all their  questions  so the friendly agents hang-up on the customers too, and just like the many others, I ended up visiting their office and asked them to  cut  my connections. you’ll just be surprised the next day morning, you’ll have a visit from one of their  Tech support who cant even answer your question- Is there something wrong with my line, how about my modem? what causes the problem? or, will my line be better this time? Insha-alla! (hopefully) duh? they don’t know?

I made my effort too of buying my new modem/router because I was thinking that perhaps my old routers firmware is no longer compatible with their technology or something to that effect and even did an intensive research on firmware upgrade and compatibility.okay, I have 2 Thomson wireless router and it is perfectly working  not until they started their campaign of providing all household a broadband connection. i thought it all started in compatibility issue so i did upgrade the firmware I even bought  a crappy  modem they are selling because they talk about compatibility issue so it stuck in my mind that its my modem that has a problem and so there i was… i felt so fooled by this company. still, it didn’t resolve the problem, until I found a site/forum that discusses the fishy service of this company. Its all the same problem I am experiencing the customers complain and the bad service of this company . What is wrong with their service?

I was with STC’s service for almost 2 years and I just realized that I wasted so much time and money to them hoping they will give you a better service worth the amount you are paying, but I was so disappointed.  Now I learned too, that the things we hear and the things we see from company’s advertisement are 75% not true. Instead they just want our money badly. All these bullshit promises of giving us the service are just all put on for their own interest.  Let’s all be practical, not all giant companies with names are reliable. Sometimes it is better to be with company who just started with a little market because they can really accommodate all your queries and fulfill their promises of giving better service. Remember, they are just a starter and they want to impress the market. Lol.

I remember my country the Philippines; do the ISP’s and DSL providers offer good service? Is Telecommunication Network in the Philippines played the same with STC’s sucking service? Because if it is… its all just a matter of monkey business

Oh yeah, I finally got rid of my galling DSL service with Saudi Telecom. A week ago, it was like heaven and earth bid goodbye to me and it felt terrible that I could not see Mr. Google anymore, not even play Vampire Wars on my Facebook account and be bothered by online players (hey can you clan up? thing..) dwelled on that hypnotic game of Zynga.  If not for STC’s awful service I still maybe paying a thousand bucks and sure thing playing Vampire Wars on my Facebook account. I just don’t understand their claim as the best network in the Middle-East in terms of service and infrastructures if half of their customers are disappointed with their service. I couldn’t help but compare the service of our telecommunication network in the Philippines. I really hope that they do good back in the Island.

I would like to nominate my self

Have you heard about the Philippine Blog Awards? I assumed yes… actually, dahil bago din lang ako sa sa blogging world nalula ako sa pagka prestigious ng award effect nya. Biruin mo ba naman, “THE PHILIPPINE BLOG AWARDS” uuhmm… wag kang maingay dyan… Philippines daw! Ibig sabihin nationwide iyon at pwede pang sumama iyong mga blogger na asa labas ng bansa basta pinoy. So, international sya diba? Bakit kaya? LOl.

Korek! Makaka-kuha ka nga ng award through blogging at bukod sa trophy at kung ano-ano pang prizes na pwedeng ibigay sayo, ang karangalang tanghalin kang pinaka magaling na blogger ay isang hindi ordinaryong pag kakataon. Kaya naman po akong si baguhan dali-daling nag ki-click sa Web site nila. Hindi ko nga nga binasa iyong mga criteria for judging eh at iyong iba pang nakasulat., basta na excite talaga ako sa nakita kong “THE PHILIPPINE BLOG AWARDS” na iyan… feeling ko kasi blogger talaga ako so dapat kasama ako. Okay, I’ve done what is need to be done… you know their application form? Where in you have to type the URL address of the blog site you think deserves the award and the email address of the blogger for confirmation and your e-mail too. Anyway so lahat nun ginawa ko as in… aaww! At dali-daling nilagay iyong link na “ NOMINEE Philippine Blog Awards” sa blog site ko. oh diba? Ang sarap basahin, ang sarap isipin… akong si Jepoy kasali sa pang malakihang awarding ceremony- PHILIPPINE BLOG Awards. WOW! Ayos ito! Galling! Sosyal!

Not until, ma realized kong may mga nakasulat pa palang iba pa sa web site nila… maybe rules, criteria and some important details regarding your entry. okay, “ENTRY” doon palang napa-atras na ako. Ano nga pala ang entry ko doon? Patay tayo dyan! Sablay na naman si Jepoy. Ako na isang baguhan sa blogging world sasabak sa pang malakihang Blog awards at malamang sangkatutak ang sasali sa patimpalak na ito… ano ang mangyayari sa akin? Eh, apat na piraso palang ang blog na nagagawa ko at ni isa doon ay wala sa mga category na pwede kong salihan. Of course ayaw ko naman mag astang veterans sa blogging diba? So tinanggal ko nalang sya. Eto ako tuloy nahihiya sa sarili.. Siguro hindi pa ito iyong time. Malamang matagal pa ako sa hanay ng mga sasali doon. Pero I am sure, someday. Makikita nyong LAHAT!

Basta, good luck po sa lahat ng sasama sa BLOG Awards. Di bale nalang… Masaya na akong may tatlong nag-babasa ng aking blog. Salamat sa oras at pag tiiwala sa aking kakayahan. Mabuhay kayo!

Zombie for a while

It’s almost a month I think that I haven’t write anything here, it feels like I have to catch up too. But what’s  keeping me hurry? I have all my time to blog diba? it’s just that there are instances na wala akong maisip na isulat. blanko.  You know the feeling when you don’t open a television, answer any call, you don’t go out and unwind, you don’t even read your e-mails in your inbox and you just let your messenger set online and don’t even bother to answer back those irritating “ding” of your contacts? And for the past few weeks all I did was plunk myself to work. It’s frustrating isn’t it? Adik. I thought it will be better for me to be just like that – alone. pero hindi ko pala kaya ang mag-isa, ang lungkot. Habang nag tatawanan ang mga kasama mo sa isang corny na joke, ikaw naman asa tabi lang at hindi umiimik. Umiiwas sa lahat ng pwedeng mangyari. So I ended up like Zombie “buhay na patay”, buhay pero walang pakiramdam.

Now,  I am back to myself, everything seems to run smoothly. I am “again” normal. After this brilliant idea of mine na umiwas sa lahat knowing it will give me a way to a new life, hindi mawawala ang consequences that I have to pay. Of course there are lots of things I missed, my friend’s birthday, my job applications, important calls from my family and last but not the least the fun – corny jokes which are my favorites actually. Ano pa ba ang gagawin ko? Nangyari na ang nangyari, at hindi ko naman na kayang parusahan ang sarili ko for what happened right?  Enough na iyong mag tampo ang best friend mo, mag alala ang parents mo at mawala ang future job na hinahangad mo. I think that’s enough.

We all have different ways on how to resolve our own issues and in most cases, we dodge on it so the very least thing we can do is to stay in one corner and be quite.  I for instance made my choice of becoming a zombie for a while, I tried hard to escape from the reality, I let everybody to do their things and mind their own business while I mind my own. I thought it’s the best idea to free myself from any worries but I was wrong. I am part of this world, and just like dots we are all connected. Naala-la ko tuloy noong high school pa ako sa Physics class, Isaac Newton’s 3^rd Law says… “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”. Diba? Late ko na ng ma-realized na hindi pala basta-basta ganoon. Buti nalang din bumalik ako sa pagiging tao… ngayon pwede na ako ulit makitawa sa mga corny na jokes, mag online at manood ng TV,  lumabas at mag relax…  kahit may problema tayo pwede parin tayo maging happy diba? Simple lang naman eh, problems are part of our life and so the happiness, why not enjoy both? It’s funny… and it’s pretty…

after impression last

They say that the reflection of our personality depends on our actions, or the words we speak. some even say that you could able to see ones personality easily by his personal things. It makes sense when you think of it diba? Kasi talking about reflections of personality, we can easily say anong klaseng tao ang kaharap mo by just looking at his mobile phone for instance, or shoes or maybe pants and a lot more. I am going to share a story to you about a friend of mine regarding his personal computer and how I labeled him instantly.

I remember talking to one of my friend in Riyadh when I pay a visit to him just before he flew back to PI. inside his room, his with his dell XPS laptop with his mobile phone and some stuff scattered all around his bed. Considering na pauwi na sya, I didn’t bother asking him “bakit parang dumaan ang sand storm dito sa room mo?” si Archie kasi iyong taong may dahilan sa lahat ng bagay, bakit ganito?, bakit ganun? Kasi ganito yan, kasi ganito iyon… so tahimik na lang ako. As we go on to our conversation (Twilight ang topic namin that moment) his lappy caught my attention. What a expensive laptop you have I said… and because I am quite interested to buy the same lappy that he has, I checked the specs of it and asked him the price he paid for his machine, just found out na pang mayaman ang presyo ( ang mahal… parang di ko kaya! ). But by looking at his lappy, and the price tagged on it nasabi ko rin sa sarili ko, okay na sana eh.. ayos na.. iyon nga lang… his desktop icons dominated the half of the screen,and most of his programs installed are not important too, pang padami ng laman lang effect, not to mention his desktop wallpaper is not healthy to my eyes and maybe even to his eyes ( ang sakit sa mata… ang gulo tignan at nakaka hilo) and so there I was, I judged him instantly dahil lang sa factor na iyon (hindi organize na tao ). Although napag isip-isip ko rin, maybe iba nga din lang siguro ang style na gusto ko and style na gusto nya. So why compare? Iba- iba nga lang siguro tayo ng taste. Diba?

Remembering that moment with Archie, it thought me a lesson of how “really” things reflect our personality and what kind of person we really are. From the very basic things that we do, to the words we speak and from the things we own. I don’t want to say that my friend is not good dahil lang sa wallpaper nya at sa mga nakaka iritang mga icon sa desktop nya. Yes it is true that he owns an expensive laptop and it doesn’t mean he is rich- he maybe worked hard for that, it is also true that his wallpaper is so striking and it pains in the eyes when you look at it -but it doesn’t mean he is rude and loud or pang baryo ang taste, his desktop icons clouded his desktop wall pero hindi ibig sabihin na makalat syang tao. Lagi kasi tayong na stick sa kasabihang, “first impressions last” so lahat ng makikita nating bagay o ano mang ginagawa ng isang tao reflects their personality na agad. Mali din pala… may mga dahilan ang mga bagay –bagay, bakit ganito at bakit ganoon just like Archie, sa lahat ng mga tanong mo sa kanya at mga puna may explanations may mga reasons. Have you heard the famous Melanie Marquez quote “Don’t judge the book by its cover , if you are not a judge” ganoon iyon, tama nga naman siya diba? may mga factor talagang minsan nagiging mali iyong matagal na nating pinaniniwalaang tama. I learned also, na “it’s not the first impression that last but rather, it’s what after the impression last”.

feeling sexy

Are you the type of person na body conscious? do you go to gym? how about your diet? is your eating habit normal or isa ka rin sa mga tao na pag kumain eh its like your last day na sa mundo?

I remember this friend of mine back in Dagupan, her name is Jocelyn Co and we are really good friends. kasama sa lahat ng lakaran and kalokohan. she is not the type of girl na seryoso type, infact she is a friend to everybody because of her cheerful way of living. everyday is a happy day and she always feel beautiful kahit ngarag na sya. she doesn’t even care how she “SIZE” like, kasi she always believes na its not the size that matters its the performance. okay, so ganun sya ka deep na tao, I mean ganun ka deep mag isip. so anyway, we always have a day we call “pictorials day” in a week. effect ng TV program na Americas Next Top Model, so lahat kaming mag kakaibigan spend a time to fix our selves and be ready for that so called “pictorials” na gaganapin sa apartment namin. it takes us about 4-5 hours to get ready to flaunt the newest and best model look-like we could be and dapat justified iyong pag pause mo and you are in the character the moment na mag snap ang camera.

taken somewhere

Jocelyn gets always the best result right after the pictorials. and every one is so amazed how she carries her self and confidence and posture even she size like an elephant.

Maybe there are lots of people right there who are at this very moment feeling depress kasi hindi sila sexy, at marami din ang frustrated na maging sexy so they’ll do everything to achieved that figure. unlike my friend Jocelyn na masaya na sa figure nya kahit pa daw ka size sya ng elephant. the important thing is you are happy to your self and grateful for what you have. “its not the Coke a Cola body figure that makes a girl sexy, its the attitude”. well, thats according to her and yes… I agree.

taken somewhere

Jocelyn Co

Jocelyn Co

me-dying?

Its been a year since I started blogging, I thought its gonna be easier too if I could put my thought into words and share it to other people. I found my self enjoy reading blogs when I was so depressed with my life a year ago. I feel so lonely then and all I have is my mobile phone. FYI, I am working abroad and my friends are busy then.. ( i love to think of that idea, where are they anyway? ) which happens to be capable in browsing internet. I spend sleepless nights and so the only thing I can do is try things out from my phone which I haven’t done since I bought it, I think that’s what most people do when boredom strikes them ( explore things you only have ) except if you have new things. lol!. so the first thing was going online. as i surfed the net, i got to read some writings there, and i begun reading and reading and reading… until I fall asleep. it became my habits every night and serves as my scape way to boredom. just recently, there is this weird thought crossed my mind, what if I die tomorrow? whats next? I dunno how this idea crossed my mind but I am pretty sure every one of us already asked to them selves about you- dying. what are the things that people will be reminded me of? of course there are pictures and letters i sent to them, but they could probably loose it… there maybe good memories I shared with them and possibly be remembered… Okay, so that’s it. a good memories will do. but, how about something i have done and still could do even if I’m already at six feet under? I want to be remembered not only by my relatives and closest friends, but by many people. I still wanna influence people, inspire them with my stories just like what I am doing with my friends, share my insights and everything I believed into. I wanna live in their lives by touching their souls but how will I do it? so, a brilliant idea pops up right after asking these questions to my self, blogging. yes, i remembered Archie, a friend I met here in the kingdom who is into blogging recently (check his blog) and asked his opinion about this weird thought of mine. just like what is expected, of course a friend will always be there to cheer you up and support you even in your most weirdest idea so he helped me out. he introduced me to wordpress and here I am. this isn’t my first blog site though but because i lost my password and I don’t know how to retrieved it ( tamad lang ako! ) I ended up signing an account here. now, what I will do is to start sharing my thoughts so even if I passed away I will be remembered not only by the letters and pictures I sent but also on the internet. (siguro naman hindi mawawala itong wordpress.com diba?) and I could inspire some people too and become a part of their everyday living. I just pray that God will bless me good and bad experiences more so i could learn from those and be able to share with you guys. after all we all agreed to the saying ” experiences is the best teacher” its just that it uses a proxy.. LOl!

pangarap na hindi nasabi (tatlong bituwin)

Tanghali, mataas ang sikat ng araw at tila ang lupa ay nagmamakaawa sa langit na kahit saglit ay magbuhos ng ulan upang sa ganoon ay mapawi ang init at uhaw ng mga nilalang sa kanyang nasasakupan. Syempre, wala akong gaanong pakialam sa init dahil tanggap ko ang katotohanan na akoy asa gitnang silangan at talagang mainit sa aking kinalalagyan.Maalinsangan ang panahon at kahit anong lakas ng airconditioned sa kwarto ay ramdam ko ang init na dulot ng haring araw. Wala pa akong tulog buhat kahapon kaya naman medyo nahihilo pa ako at samahan pa ng walang lamang tiyan. Si Ryan, ang aking kasambahay ay nagyayang mamasyal sa kung saan daw kami dalhin ng aming mga paa. Kung sabagay, araw ito ng aming pahinga kaya sa halip na magpahinga ay naghanap kami ng mas ikakapagod naming dalawa. Ako itong si atat sa gala, naligo at sa bente minutos na preparasyon akoy handang handa na sa lakad naming pinaghandaan sa isa o hanggang dalawang minutong pag didisisyon. Sa terminal na kung saan nakahelera ang mga sasakyan na patungong Batha isang lugar sa Riyadh na masasabing minsan ay naging sentro ng kalakaran at ngayon ay napag iwanan na ng panahon dahil sa mga luma nitong gusali at mga taong “bhadhoo” kung tawagin (native people) na nagkalat sa daan, maruming lugar dahil palengke rin itong maituturing para sa mga ibang lahi na gaya namin, doon kaming dalawa pupunta. Habang binabagtas namin ang kahabaan ng disyerto, gabundok na buhangin at mga tigang na lupa, biglang pumasok sa aking isipan ang aking mga kaibigan.Kumusta na kaya sila Janus at Iska? unti unting naglaho ang lahat sa aking paningin maging ang katabi kong si Ryan na nagkukwento ng kung ano man ay di ko na matandaan, Ang buong paligid kasama ang mga buhangin at malaking bahagi ng lupang tigang na aking natatanaw ay tila baga ay u

nti unting napalitan ng lsang lugar na pamilyar sa akin. Sa kwarto ng aking kaibigan. Isa itong paboritong tambayan naming tatlong magkaibigan maliban sa kwarto kong maganda. Dito namin nagagawa ang lahat ng naisin namin. Ang mag pinta ng kung ano man pagkatapos ay isa isa naming binibigyang kahulugan, nagkukwentuhan ng tungkolsa buhay namin, nila, at kahit pa ninyo. Sa kwartong iyon din naisasakatuparan ang pag iibang anyo naming tatlo- hindi po kami isang nakakatakot na aswang okay!
Ang saya parati talaga ng araw pag kasama ko sina Janus at Iska (Francis). Sila ang pinaka matalik kong kaibigan,kapatid, parang magulang, ang dalawang parte ng aking katawan na mawala man ang isa ay hirap na akong gumalaw. Silang dalawa lang kasi ang bukod tangi kong nakakasama sa araw araw na ginawa ng panginoon at sa araw araw na iyon sa piling nila ko rin nakita ang maraming kulay ng buhay. Kami ang tipong magkaibigan na Nagtutulungan sa ano mang hirap, hindi nag iiwanan,Sabay sa lahat ng anong bagay kahit pa sa pagbuo ng mga pangarap. Oopangarap, isa ito sa mga maraming dahilan bakit ganoon na lamang kahigpit at katindi ang aming samahan. Minsan sa kuwartong iyon ni Janus, habang nakalatag ang tatlong putahe na niluto namin ni Iska at janus and with the complete set up for a formal dinner at habangbalot ng kumot ang aming mga katawan (kunwari magara ang aming kasuotan) , napag usapan namin ang aming mga gusto sa buhay. Dahil si Janus ang nag pasimula ng usapan, siya rin ang unang nagsalita. Pangarap kong maging isang sikat na artista, kilalang komedyante at magaling na mang aawit. Si Janus kasi iyong tipong tao na ang gusto ay maging isang bituwin, pinakamataas na bituwin. Tahimik kaming tatlo ng mga oras na iyon, tila iniisip ng maigi at syempre feel na feel dapat kung ano ang nais naming maging… Mga pangarap na maituturing. Nagwika si Iska, nais kong maging isang pinaka mayaman, kilala at makapangyarihan.Pagkatapos nilang dalawa ako na ang susunod na magsasalita oras ng sabihin ang aking pangarap, ngunit bakit wala akong maisip, o masabi man lang? Blanko. Wala ba akong pangarap? Sa oras na iyon ramdam ko ang pagkahiya sa aking dalawang kaibigan, pagkainis sa sarili dahil kahit man lang maging isang mang aawit ay di ko masabi. Paano nga naman ako aawit? Hindi ko naman taglay ang boses ng isang singer, o kahit maging isang mayaman at makilala sa lipunan kung sa ngayon ay iilan lang ang aking mga kaibigan. Anong klaseng tao akong maituturing? Walang direksyon sa buhay, isang patapon? Hanggang natapos ang tagpong iyon na hindi ko man lang naiparinig sa kanila ang aking pangarap. nabaling sa walang hanggang pag yoyosi, kwentuhan, tawanan at iyakan ang mga sumunod pang tagpo. Ito ang buhay naming tatlo, masaya, malungkot at makulay. nakilala kami ng marami dahil sa bonding namin. Marami ang naiingit at ang ibay naninira. Pero hindi kami nagpapatinag, sa halip patuloy naming pinapatunayan na ang samahan naming tatlo ay kailan man ay hindi mabubuwag ng kung sino at ano man. Dumating ang pagkakataon na hindi ko kasama ang dalawa kong kaibigan, gabi ng mga oras na iyon at habang akoy nakatanaw sa bintana, nag hihintay ng antok tangan ang sigarilyo (ganito ako pag nagpapa antok dapat may yosi, oh diba connect?) naagaw ang aking atensyon ng tatlong bituwin sa langit. Magkakasunod, isang asa pinakataas, at ang sa pinakababa ay masasabing nagliliwanag. Iyong asa gitna ay parang wala lang, normal na parang hindi mo pag uukulan ng pansin. Nasabi ko sa aking sarili, marahil para sa amin ang mga bituwin na iyan, at sa mga bituwing iyan namin isusulat ang aming buhay, iuukit ang mga pangarap. Ang bituwing bigay sa amin ng panginoon.

Hoy! Andito na tayo, bigkas ni Ryan. Para atang nakarating ka na sa Pilipinas nyan ha? dagdag asar ng makulit kong housemate. Nagugutom ako, kaya niyaya ko siyang kumain ng shawarma sa paborito kong tindahan sa Batha, filipino market dito sa Riyadh, ang daming kabayan dito na namimili, nagkukwentuhan, nagyayabangan, at nangangarap. Tahimik lang ako sa mga panahong iyon, naalala ko kasi ang hindi ko nasabing pangarap sa dalawa kong kaibigan. Pagkatapos naming bigyang pansin ang mga kumakalam naming sikmura, nagwindow shopping kaming dalawa at namili ng ilang gamit sa kwarto, sapatos pang trabaho at kung ano ano pa. Magtatakip silim na ng lumabas kami sa mall nga ba kung tawagin ang pinasukan namin? Ewan, basta marami kang pagpipilian sa gusaling iyon so sige na nga, mall na kung mall. Pasado ala’s nuebe na ng gabi kami nakasakay sa kotseng papunta ng Kharj.ibat ibang lahi ang sumasakay patungo sa lugar na iyon, medyo mahirap ang sakayan minsan kailangang mag hintay hanggang mapuno ang buong kotse.Wala naman kaming pwedeng pagpilian na sasakyan maliban lang kung may sarili kang kotse, kaya tiis ka nalang kung may hindi kanais nais na amoy ang katabi mo. Sa loob ng sasakyan, asa may bandang pintuan ako at si Ryan ang sumunod sa akin katabi ang isang pakistano at sa duloy isang Filipino, ayaw ko lang talaga katabi ang ibang lahi karamihan kasi sa kanila bukod sa mabaho ay mahilig pang manghipo ng parteng baba o ano mang nais nilang hawakan lalo na pag nakita nilang makinis at maputi ang iyong kutis,hindi ko rin naman nais sabihin na pangit ang kutis ng aking kasama kundi mas lalaki nga lang kung titignan ang kay Ryan dahil sa likas niyang kulay moreno. Madilim ang paligid lalo na sa parteng disyerto, malamig at mga bituwin na lamang ang tanging matatanaw ng iyong mga mata, mistulang mga buhangin sa kalawakan ang aking nakikita. Sa paglalakbay ng aking diwa, muli sa ikalawang pagkakataon ang tatlong bituwin ay aking nakita, ang aming mga bituwin, Ang aming mga pigura. Ang bituwing pinaka mataas sa tatlo, ang hindi gaanong pansin, at ang pinakamaliwanag. Sa pag kakataong ito naihambing ko ang aking mga kaibigan sa bituwing kasalukuyan kong natatanaw, ang pangarap ni Janus na maging isang sikat na mang aawit at magaling na artista, ang pinaka mataas. Si Iska ang pinaka kilala at mayamang tao, sa kanya ang pinaka maliwanag na bituwin, at sa akin ang hindi gaanong pansin na bituwin. Mahal ko ang aking dalawang kaibigan, ano man ang kanilang marating alam kong pinaghirapan nila itong abutin. Sa ngayon, kaming tatlo ay hindi magkakasama. Marahil silang dalawa ay humahanap ng paraan, kung paano isasakatuparan ang mga pangarap, at ako na pinaka malayo sa kanila nangangarap na darating ang panahon muli ko ulit silang makasama. Siguro noong mga panahon na wala akong maisip at masabing mga pangarap sa kanila ay dahil hindi pa ako handa. Sa ngayo’y alam ko na. Ang bituwing di pansin na pinagitnaan ng mataas at maliwanag ay ako, at tanging pangarap ko lamang ay makasama ang dalawang pinaka mamahal kong kaibigan, si Janus at Iska. Sa ngayon palang abot kamay ko na ang aking pangarap, dahil kahit saan ako lumingon at kahit saan ako magpunta alam kong nandiyan sila at patuloy na maghihintay sa muli kong pagbabalik.

Contemplating love…

After the long hours of work, i finally got home and here i am now typing this blog. I could not sleep yet i feel exhausted and my back is in pain to hell. I was not able to wash my laundry yesterday so i have to finish it tonight, there are even lots of things to do though but as i see my self now ending up cuddling my pillow and snoring as loud as my room mates alarm. As i comfort my self with the softness of my bed i catch my self thinking bout my situation now. I am bothered by the fact ’bout the relationships i have been through for the past five years, i have been to two serious relationships, two are not that serious and its like a fling thing or lets just say a one way kind of relationship where they were the one who makes an effort, and some are secretly loved by me which i think it had never been because Janus and Iska were the first people who gets to know the headline for tomorrow. I am not really good at this… talking about love stuff. i may sound mellow dramatic but there is nothing wrong in expressing your feelings though. Anyway, its been 4 lonesome years now since i broke up with my partner and till this date i am still in search for the brave who could love me not by who i am but rather what i am. Sometimes i just cry in the night and pray to him that one day sooner he will give me someone who could dry my tears at night, someone who could cheer me up,who will be proud and acknowledge me, one who will hold my hands and promised me eternal love, someone i can call my own. but i guess that could only happen if and only if i could turn back the time. They have already walked through my life. They have already did those things i want for love, and I just that i ignored those. I think this is my curse, a lesson to learn that after ignoring each persons who loved me, who suffered for my insensitivity this is what i am getting. I hope this will soon end, It gets very cold every night and my eyes is swelling… my heart slowly gets hard. I hope you will soon be here beside me whispering the sweeties words i never heard for the longest time “I love you”. Time can never be bend but love we have wasted could possibly bring back. it may not be as same as what we expected it to be but its worth keeping, enough to celebrate life. it could take time but when it comes i know its a blessing from him. I know i could have you in my arms. i could almost smell your breath. I will wait for you even i am in vain and by that time i will get to meet you, i will make the most of every moment with you and will promise to cherish and love you every second of your life. So here i am contemplating the matters of love. So mushy i know. Well, that makes life good to live with. Anyway i am happy being single in search for BRAVE. so far my situation here in the kingdom is uncertain. I feel sometimes my heart will overflow with so much love, I hope i could make things clearer as glass of water someday. Its getting late, i still have to do some things. I even feel like angels are singing lullaby that i could hardly get up on my cradle. Well, just like the usual, i have to end my blog with a question of faith. Will i ever have the chance of meeting you? I am raising my hope. Someday.